Motherhood is often seen as an experience shared with a partner, but for more and more women, the desire to become a parent is not dependent on traditional family structures. Claire made the decision to become a single mother by choice, embracing the challenges and joys that come with it. Read her inspiring story below.

Tell us a bit about yourself 

“I am a 40-year-old woman, an independent entrepreneur living in Paris. My journey has been unique and determined, and today, I am the mother of a wonderful child—born from my choice and my desire to create a family on my own.” 

How was your experience with fertility treatment? 

“After the breakup of a relationship just before COVID, I realised that what I mourned was not the relationship itself but the lost opportunity to become a mother while I still had time. That was when I understood that I wanted to build my own family. For me, waiting for a partner or a father figure was not an option—I wanted to create a family unit with myself and my child, supported by my extended family (parents, siblings, cousins, etc.). Using a sperm donor was never a backup plan; it was always my Plan A. 

I began researching donor conception and the different treatment options available. I took my time doing this alone, processing the situation in my own way without discussing it with others at first. I also considered the logistical aspects, maternity leave, and parental rights while balancing my professional commitments. 

I have always felt a strong connection to Scandinavia, and I knew Denmark was a leader in fertility treatment with high-quality donors. After searching for a clinic with good reviews, I consulted a specialist clinic in France to assess my fertility. Fortunately, my fertility was excellent, and IUI was recommended as the best option. 

Then, COVID-19 disrupted my plans, but it gave me even more time to reflect on my decision. When things stabilised, I shared my plans with a few close friends. Finally, the day of my insemination in Copenhagen arrived. 

It was a beautiful, sunny day in July when I took my flight to Denmark. I had no particular expectations, knowing that it might take multiple attempts. When I arrived at the clinic, the atmosphere was warm and welcoming. The insemination process was quick and painless, and the staff complimented me on my calmness and serenity throughout the procedure. I felt incredibly relaxed, as if this was simply a natural step in my journey. 

After the insemination, I went to Nyhavn, an iconic spot in Copenhagen, to take a selfie. It was a symbolic moment for me, a kind of "reality check"—I was doing what I had always imagined, but with no certainty that it would work immediately. It was a strange feeling to be there alone, facing an uncertain future, yet feeling calm and confident. I had no big expectations, but I knew this was my path, no matter how long it took. 

The next day, I enjoyed a long walk through the city, feeling light-hearted and free. It’s a memory I cherish because two weeks later, a positive pregnancy test changed my life in the most incredible way. Three years after that selfie in Nyhavn, I stood in the same place, this time with my little one—proof that my dream had become a reality.” 

Where did you find the information you needed? 

“The internet was my main source of information—Google quickly became my best friend. Since I work in research, this approach felt natural to me. I explored a variety of sources, from blog articles and scientific studies on the psychological effects of donor conception to resources provided by sperm banks and clinics. 

In France, the doctor I first consulted did not understand my decision at all. He told me I was “crazy” but also that I was “attractive enough to find a man.” This outdated mindset pushed me to seek out professionals who shared my vision. 

When I spoke with Born Donor Bank and the Vitanova clinic in Denmark, I immediately felt heard, understood, and supported—without judgement.” 

Your thoughts on becoming a solo mum?

“Becoming a solo mum felt like the most natural decision for me—like a light switching on. It was a choice I had always carried within me. This was never a "Plan B"—it was my Plan A. I have always challenged traditional norms, and I was ready to embrace the family I wanted. 

For me, stability was key. I didn’t want my child to grow up in an unstable family environment, which was one of the main reasons I made this decision. I knew this was a viable plan for me, although, of course, I had concerns about logistics, work-life balance, and finances. But aren’t these challenges faced by all families, whether single-parent or not?” 

How was your experience with Born Donor Bank?

“I chose Denmark for my treatment, and Born Donor Bank was an obvious choice. Denmark offers high-quality fertility treatments with strict regulations, ensuring safety and transparency. 

After comparing several providers and doing thorough research, I was drawn to Born because of their high donor quality, well-verified profiles, and outstanding customer service. Additionally, Denmark’s sperm donation laws are much more regulated than in other countries, such as the United States, which reassured me.” 

What was important to you when choosing your sperm donor?

“The most important factor for me was that my child would share a physical resemblance with me, allowing them to see a reflection of themselves in their family. I also wanted a donor with a clean medical history, and Born ensures all their donors meet this standard. 

Another key criterion was an open donor profile so that my child could contact the donor in the future if they wished. After filtering my options, I came across a donor profile that instantly felt right. The childhood photo touched me—his kind face and cheeky smile convinced me he was the one. 

At the time, he had no confirmed pregnancies, but I felt so strongly about my choice that I went ahead, knowing only one vial was available. Later, Born informed me that more vials were available for siblings, which I am now considering.” 

How did you choose your country of treatment, and why? 

“Denmark was the obvious choice. It was convenient in terms of logistics (proximity, reliable transport links), and its legal framework for sperm donation is protective and transparent. Denmark is renowned for its high-quality clinics and excellent sperm donor screening. 

Furthermore, Danish sperm donation laws ensure well-regulated procedures, which reassured me compared to other countries.” 

Do you have any advice for future solo mums?

“Fertility treatment and pregnancy can be incredible journeys, but the real challenges begin once the baby arrives. I was fortunate to have a smooth pregnancy, but the reality of being a solo mum is sometimes more demanding than expected. 

It is essential not to go through this journey alone. Find support, create backup plans, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Taking time for yourself is important—even if it's just for a massage or a solo outing. A strong support network, whether family, friends, or online communities, is crucial. 

Being highly organised is key since you are the only pair of hands managing everything. However, with good planning, it becomes easier. This journey requires a lot of energy, but it is worth every moment.” 

Anything else you would like to share? 

“It’s important to trust your instincts and follow your own path. If something feels right for you, go for it! 

Don’t wait too long to make this decision, as fertility treatment can be lengthy and challenging, and it may become more complicated and costly over time. 

Above all, don’t let other people’s opinions hold you back. When people ask me, “Where is the dad?” I simply reply: "My child doesn’t have a dad—he has his mum." 

I chose this path with pride, and there is absolutely no shame in being a solo mum by choice.”