Grief, anger, jealousy, and guilt are just some of the emotions the couple grapples with during their fertility treatment.

Annsofie is 24 years old, living with her fiancé Thomas, who is 27. Their journey towards parenthood began over 2 years ago. They were confident it would be easy, being young and always cautioned about the ease of getting pregnant. But nothing happened. 

“When I look back at the sex education I received, all we learned was how to put a condom on a banana to prevent pregnancy. I think that we should learn a bit about what can impact both men’s and women’s fertility and provide some insight into how many people are struggling to conceive. I think it's important to talk openly about it.” 

After 9 unsuccessful months of trying to conceive, Thomas went to the doctor to have his sperm quality checked. The couple already knew that Annsofie's egg reserve was fine, as she had already been checked. Unfortunately, Thomas quickly received the news that everything was not as it should be, and that he had significantly reduced sperm quality. Thus, they were referred directly to the Køge Fertility Clinic. 

"Then Thomas had to submit two additional sperm samples to Køge Fertility Clinic. The first sample had 0 active sperm cells, and the second sample had 2 million active sperm cells, which is really low. After that, there was an 11-month waiting period because unfortunately, there is such a long waiting time for the first treatment attempt." 

The Big Dream of a Little Miracle

During the waiting time, Annsofie and Thomas actually managed to become naturally pregnant, against all expectations. However, the dream of a baby ended in a spontaneous abortion in the 7th week. 

"It was kind of a gut punch when we thought we were having our miracle baby. We thought we could avoid fertility treatment and all the difficulty, but that's not how it was supposed to be. After that, the whole process of egg retrieval started. We were lucky to get a total of 9 eggs in storage, and we have subsequently had eggs implanted several times, but we haven’t had any luck yet."

Grief, Anger, Jealousy, and Guilt

You’re So Young, Just Relax, It Will Happen 

Early in the process, Annsofie and Thomas decided to speak openly and honestly about their fertility problems with both family and friends, so they could better understand their reactions at times. Their openness has helped them a lot, and they have received great understanding and support from their closest circle. Despite that, they have encountered quite a few opinions and comments in their social circles that they could have done without. 

"There are comments like 'just relax a little, then it will happen,' but the fact is that there is a problem, so we can relax as much as we want, but the chance of it happening naturally is very, very small. Then there's also the thing that people say: You're so young, just take it easy. No matter your age, it's tough to struggle with infertility. Unless you've experienced fertility treatments, it's hard to grasp the accompanying emotions. I had never thought about how hard it would be before we found ourselves in the middle of it." 

Annsofie has now started sharing their journey on social media, hoping that it might help others who are also struggling with fertility problems and childlessness, so they may feel a little less alone. 



"When we shared something about it on my YouTube channel, there were 65,000 views within 3 days, and we thought, okay, that's a lot. There are actually a lot of people out there struggling with the same as us."

The Hardest Part Is the Waiting Time and the Uncertainty 

Although Annsofie and Thomas make a great effort to make the most of each day, their fertility problems and treatment process take up a lot of space, and the uncertainty and waiting time are clearly some of the things they struggle with the most. Despite that, they have certainly not thought of giving up. 

"The waiting time is tough, and not knowing if it will ever succeed. If we had a date, we would at least have something to look forward to, but not knowing if it will happen tomorrow or in 4 years or never, I find that very difficult to be in." 

Family Comes in Many Forms 

"We will continue to fight to have our own biological child, but we both know that we cannot live 100% happily if we don't have a child one way or another. So, if we reach that point, we will certainly consider either a sperm donor or, if that doesn't work out, adoption. I believe that a family can take many forms."